Tuesday, 7 November 2017

Breadcrumbs are only for ducks...not dating

Modern dating is hard; from being stood up to ghosting, there always seems to be a new dating trend that we should watch out for and they all seem to be worse than the one that came before it.
At RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club we have seen and heard it all from new members looking for a way out from what can be the brutal reality that can come with dating.
Breadcrumbing is the fresh new way for daters to mess with the people who are expressing unrequited interest in them. Breadcrumbers will maintain an irregular pattern of non-committal communication in order to lure a partner without expending much effort. Whether it is a stream of sporadic messages or a like on social media, the contact is just enough so you don’t lose interest but not too much that the relationship moves forward.
Because of the influential role that technology plays in the modern dating scene, breadcrumbing can be particularly infuriating if you’re in search of a genuine connection and that’s where a Dating Agency like RSVP can help. Whilst we cannot guarantee that you are going to find Mr or Ms Right straight away, we can guarantee that you’ll be on the correct path.
Over our 25 years of being established, RSVP’s expert matchmaking team have worked with a huge variety of people and, whether they are male or female, young or old, they all have one thing in common: they are all actively looking to find someone to share their life with away from the games that entangle modern dating.
If you would like to know more about our services and how our expert dating consultants can get your dating journey on the right track, contact RSVP here.

Wednesday, 25 October 2017

Is there a formula to finding love?

RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club’s team of expert matchmakers like to do plenty of research into finding love and there are numerous theories and speculations out there on the subject of finding the perfect partner. I watched a talk recently in which Mathematician Hannah Fry portrays patterns in how we look for loveIn the talk she discussed a paper that she had read entitled ‘Why I don’t have a girlfriend by Peter Brakus.’ In the paper Peter tries to rate his chance of finding love. Of all the women available to him in the UK, all Peter is looking for is

·         someone who lives near him,
·         someone in his age range,
·         someone with a university degree,
·         someone he is likely to get on well with,
·         someone who is likely to be attractive,
·         and someone who is likely to find him attractive

From this he comes up with an estimate of 26 women. To put that into perspective that gives Peter a 1 in 285,000 chance of bumping into any one of these special ladies on a night out.
As a matchmaker, I could see where he was coming from. After all dating really is a numbers game and the more you define your expectations, the smaller that pool of potential partners becomes. But, is there a formula we could use to pick the perfect partner? And, is there a right time to settle down?
Generally, you’re not advised to cash in and marry the first person who comes along and shows you some interest; but, equally, you don’t want to leave it too long if you want to maximise your chance of long-term happiness. Let’s imagine you start dating when you are 15 and, ideally, you’d like to be married by the time you’re 35.  There’s a number of people that you could date during that time and they will be at varying levels of suitability. According to Hannah, what you should do is, in the first 37% of your dating window, reject everybody. Then, you should pick the next person that comes along who is better than everybody you have seen before.

Although it seems mad, as humans we already do this subconsciously. We play the field when we are young and only really start thinking about marriage in our mid to late 20s. This is where RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club can help. We take the hard work out of the numbers game of dating for you, taking into consideration the things that matter most and work with you to find the perfect match.

At RSVP, we believe in love and so do our members. Over the last 25 years they have shared with us their engagements, marriages and babies. Our experienced dating consultants have been there from day one, providing introductions and coaching them until they find the one that they would like to experience life’s greatest moments with.
If you want to find out more about our services and the memberships on offer, please contact RSVP here.

Friday, 13 October 2017

Dating on the dark side

At RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club, we’ve long been proud to offer a safer alternative to internet dating, but it comes as no joy at all to read the latest awful statistics.

Sky News has just revealed that 2,054 crimes related to online dating were recorded between 2011 and 2016. In 2011, 140 crimes were recorded. By 2016 that had risen to 676, a 382% increase. In the same period, the number of sexual crimes reported rose from 14 to 106 and violent attacks were up from 29 to 240. And all this is despite two of the biggest internet dating apps offering guidance on how to stay safe.

"Over 70% of the stranger rape cases we see are from people going home with their date or taking their date back to their own accommodation on the first date," says the NCA's head of national investigative capabilities, Sean Sutton.

By the way, it’s not just women who are at risk. There are hundreds of men out there who have lost everything to fraudsters hiding behind a gorgeous photo.

What’s behind this trend? We still crave that instant gratification of the unread message. It’s quick, easy and, for the most part, free. Is there a better way of dating in this day and age? Has dating become just another app to eat data allowance and storage space on your phone? Something to do in a boring meeting or on the train home? It appears that it isn’t as easy as it is in the classic film You’ve Got Mail. Should we ditch the dark side?
If you are here reading the RSVP blog, maybe you’re already wondering about safer alternatives. Have you thought about reverting to traditional ways of dating? A professional matchmaker will be harder on the wallet, but, what price can you put on safety?

RSVP Dating and Singles club, can help you escape the swiping, pop your phone away and dance the night away at one of our singles balls. Or maybe you would prefer to put on your walking boots and take in the beautiful countryside views? Although no dating agency can promise you 100% safety, with RSVP, you can relax in the knowledge that all of our members have been met by a member of staff before joining. We know who they are and where they live. In addition to this, all RSVP singles events are hosted, taking away the anxiety and nerves of being alone.
Take control of your dating destiny and contact RSVP today.

Monday, 25 September 2017

The New RSVP Singles Events Calendar

Avoid hibernation this autumn, if you are single! The RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club's Autumn Calendar has only just landed on our members' doormats and already events are getting booked up.

Typically during the winter time, we all get out less and tend to hide away - even more so if you happen to be single. So many RSVP members say before joining that they want to go out more and do different things, but not being a part of a couple holds them back. At RSVP, we typically have a calendar of 25-30 Singles Events per month, to suit different tastes; for instance we have meals of different cuisines, casual drink catch ups, singles walks, tours, activities such as climbing, flying...and so many more.
To give you a taste of what we have in coming up in our October – December calendar, here are a few highlights: 
  • A Walking Tour around London Zoo, complete with specialist tour guide to give you all the interesting facts and details of the fantastic London Zoo.
  • Champagne Sunset at The Shard. This event was so popular in the previous calendar we have brought it back.  
  • Skiing Lessons - great for our snow loving members!  
  • A tour of The London Underground is always unmissable - one of many RSVP singles events in London
  • For our culture vultures, a Globe Theatre Exhibition. 
  • Rifle Shooting
  • Flight Simulator Experience...
And there are so many more RSVP Exclusives I could discuss. This doesn’t even include our regular weekly Mix and Mingles, meals at fantastic restaurants and our monthly bowling nights.

An RSVP singles events calendar would not be the same without our quarterly Singles Balls - a great RSVP singles event in Northamptonshire - and what a lovely excuse to get all dressed up! This year we have a brand new Pre-Ball Mix and Mingle of Cocktail Making Classes. We have had so many bookings already for the ball, we hope our members can all attend.
Additionally, all RSVP Singles Events are hosted; there is someone to welcome you to every RSVP Singles Event and we have a Hosts page on our member’s website, so you know who to look out for. You also have peace of mind that all of our members attending singles events have been met by our very experienced Dating Consultants and are who they say are.

Friday, 8 September 2017

The importance of good photos when dating

There is this old saying that a picture tells a thousand words. Really? At RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club, we've learned that a picture in a dating profile may ‘tell a thousand words’, but may have only tenuous connection with the person you are reading about. Furthermore, is a single photo always a true reflection of what the person in question looks like? 

Allow me to elaborate. Firstly, everyone has ‘good angles’ and ‘bad angles’. Then there is lighting - harsh lighting can age anyone. Then, at the other end of the spectrum, there are ‘face-tuning’ apps and Adobe Photoshop, which can enhance us quickly to have white teeth, bigger, wider eyes or even slim us down a dress size, whilst losing any spots of wrinkles. When was the photo taken? Ten years ago? Is it actually the person you're reading about? Was it taken by a professional photographer with lighting, make-up, etc? Or is it a holiday snap of you and your previous partner torn down the middle? I could go on. 

According to globaldatinginsights.com, a quarter of people who use dating sites and apps such as Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Bumble, eharmony, match.com etc, have admitted to uploading digitally manipulated photographs which are unlikely to be a true representation of themselves. And, who can blame them, when, with a swipe, you are history. This brings us back to the authenticity of a dating agency like RSVP, where we meet every single one of our members and make sure everyone really is who they say they are.

RSVP's long-held nervousness about photos in dating stems from the myriad assumptions we make when we view a photo of a potential partner, about who they are and their character, which could be completely wrong. Frequently, daters will act on these incorrect assumptions by not going ahead and meeting that person (it's always easier to do nothing), or arriving with completely fabricated preconceived ideas on the individual, so that it ruins getting to know the person on the date.
It is now estimated that one third of daters look up a person online before agreeing to go on a date with them. It is almost inevitable that, in this day and age, there is no shortage of photographs of us online, whether it is facebook photos, Instagram posts, a LinkedIn profile picture and WhatsApp profile picture. It usually wouldn’t take long for a person to find photos of us online. There are ways around this: set your social media accounts to private (always a good idea, anyway), upload a photo of a beach/flowers/cocktails as your WhatsApp photograph. However, sometimes it is unavoidable; so, if you must, here is some advice on photos for social media when you are looking to date:
-It is always obvious if it a picture from 12 years ago, use update photos from the last year.
-A good quality sharp photo, is much better than a blurry, pixelated, over-exposed picture.
-Zooming in on yourself in a group photo and cropping everyone else out doesn’t always work; the photo then lacks context and the proportions look a little odd.

-Too many selfies, can look a little self-obsessed, even if that isn’t the intention.
-Adding animal ears, crowns and bunny ear filters to photos isn’t really funny anymore; it is just a bit silly if you are over the age of 15.

-Fancy dress, although fun at the time, can look a little odd to people who don’t know the theme or didn’t attend the party.
-Overly enhancing a photo using a face tuning app is dishonest and usually pretty obvious.

-A passport-style head shot photo can look quite serious and rigid; a more relaxed photo taken by a friend is far more natural.

-Photos taken in daylight outdoors are (a) usually better lit and (b) more popular with daters. Get a tree in shot as well, if you want the best.

Wednesday, 6 September 2017

The unrealistic side to dating

Do you ever sit at a family gathering or on a day out, feeling like the only single person in the world? Everywhere you look there seem to be happy couples. And no matter how many dates you seem to go on, there always seems to be something that just doesn’t quite fit.

A recent article about an eligible bachelor looking for a drastically younger bride to give him an heir got me thinking. How realistic are our expectations when it comes to dating?
When we picture that perfect match, there are usually a handful of things that stand out as essential – maybe age, values or personality type. Then we start to think a little bit harder and more and more ‘essentials’ go on the list until eventually the scope for finding that perfect match is so slim, it’s almost impossible. You’ve set yourself up for guaranteed disappointment.
When left to find this person on your own it can often feel like finding a needle in a haystack (especially if you’ve a long shopping list). That bar that you’ve set for Mr or Ms Right is so high that somebody almost perfect could walk into your life and you would find something wrong with them.
At RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club, we often find that what people say they want in a partner and the partner they actually choose are two completely different things. After all, how many of your previous relationships have looked like or acted like your celebrity crush? My guess would be none.
RSVP’s experienced Dating Consultants meet every prospective member to get to know you and what you are looking for. With years of experience under their belt, they will take into account the things that are most important to you and open your eyes to the possibilities and potential matches that could be available to you – and also those you are inadvertently excluding. They are there to advise and support you and tell you what you need to hear, not just what you want to hear in order to find that special person just for you.
When it comes to dating, maybe it’s time every so often to throw caution to the wind and go for somebody that on paper may not seem your type, because in the end you may just find that little spark you were missing.

Friday, 28 July 2017

Whatever happened to marrying for love?

RSVP dating agency and singles club’s team of expert matchmakers likes to do plenty of background research. As a result, I read an article in The Mirror recently that saddened me and got me thinking ‘does anybody marry for love anymore?’

In the article, a wealthy 70-year-old businessman was advertising for a bride to share his life and his two stately homes, but there was a catch – she had to be young enough to promise him an heir. Now as a matchmaker, this raised two key questions for me. What type of people is this method of promotion going to attract? How can you marry somebody knowing that they are only with you for the money and lifestyle that you have promised them?
Now while we can remain hopeful that this eligible bachelor will find what he is looking for and maybe even love, I can’t help but be sceptical when it comes to marriages of convenience. In order to make a marriage work there has to be an element of compatibility, and surely no matter how good the deal seems on paper, if there is no compatibility one or both parties will crack under the pressure after a while.
RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club members have shared with us their engagements, marriages and babies. Our experienced dating consultants have been there from day one providing the introductions and coaching them until they find the one that they would like to experience life’s greatest moments with.
At RSVP, we believe in love and so do our members. We take into consideration the things that matter most and work with you to find the perfect match for you. RSVP relationships are built on love and trust and not merely a relationship of convenience.
If you want to find out more about our services and the memberships that we can offer for you, please contact us here.