Thursday, 16 March 2017

Is there such a thing as love at first sight?

As representative of RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club, that was the question I was asked on Jonathan Lampon's show on BBC Radio Leicester this week.

Me with Jonathan Lampon, BBC Radio Leicester
Of course we all love that feeling of butterflies we get when someone gorgeous looks our way, but can that be love at first sight?

Just catching sight of someone gives us no insight into the personality of the person we have just seen. Furthermore, we are constantly making subconscious lists of features we attribute to those people we have strong feelings about, both positive and negative.

That's why it's so easy to take an instant like or dislike when we meet people for the first time. But we need to be careful of falling into a pattern of only wanting to meet potential partners that are "our type". Let's face it - if you are single at the moment, chances are what you are doing is not working.

I would argue that you need to be more open to the elements in a relationship that have been proven to contribute to longer term happiness. Of course, sexual attraction is part of falling in love, but it is only part of the concoction which also includes friendship, shared experiences, trust and kindness.

That is why our RSVP matchmakers do not include photographs on our profiles sent to members. We want our members to look at the interests and hobbies, personality type and values when considering whether or not to meet up.

If you want to hear more about this topic, listen to my radio interview.

Wednesday, 1 March 2017

Ask for Angela

Anyone heard of ‘Ask for Angela’?

Ask for Angela is a simple code-word campaign for people feeling unsafe on a date, originally trialled by Lincolnshire County Council. It encourages people on dates that have turned difficult or dangerous to discreetly ask for help by going to the bar and 'Ask for Angela' - a phrase aimed at alerting bar staff to the cry for help so they can help by calling a taxi or discreetly extricating them from the situation. Ask for Angela has been rolled out across the UK and is receiving global attention at present.

I am all for safer dating and anything that assists us stay safe in a world full of hidden dangers. Apparently, bar staff are receiving specialist training to deal with situations when they arise. But the publicity posters openly admit that it’s dates from Tinder and Plenty of Fish that are the main targets for help – free dating apps/sites where anyone can join and anyone does.

Much better in my book is to invest a little in your own safety up-front to make sure you don’t go out fearing what will happen on your date. That safety can come from using an accredited professional matchmaking service like RSVP. You’ll know that the person you’re meeting has already been met face-to-face by one of RSVP’s expert dating consultants. Attending some of RSVP’s hosted singles events is a sure-fire way of knowing that you won’t need Angela’s assistance, as you will have a host there to make sure everything runs smoothly.

Thursday, 5 January 2017

Avoid Internet Dating Crime

Have you ever thought about how many people are part of the online community? Some people don’t remember a time before the internet; it is the ‘norm’ nowadays.

So, I found it interesting, if not a little surprising, that we let our guard down so easily, because we think that being ‘friends’ on social media equates to trust; after all, we see all the posts and pictures right?

Have you ever had that call or text (all in caps lock) from your parents or grandparents, saying that they have had an email or a call from the bank, asking for passwords or telling them that they need to make a payment, which of course they did, or they clicked on that strange link in the email? We have all had that ‘oh please tell me you didn’t’ moment.

Now, stop. What makes that ‘oh please tell me you didn’t’ moment any different when you decide to meet the person you have been talking to for days or weeks online.

At Dating Agency and Singles Club RSVP, even though we’re not into internet dating, we hear such horror stories all the time. No wonder the National Crime Agency (NCA) recently published a report that should be mandatory reading for all internet daters:

One key statistic is that 72% of internet-dating-based sexual assaults took place in someone’s residence. Maybe this era of laid back keyboard dating is one of the culprits, aiding us to drop our barriers; after all, we are constantly warned of the dangers of being scammed out of money or possessions, so maybe these drown out other risks that lurk beyond the monitor. The key message from the NCA – and from RSVP – is: do not go to the home of someone you have never met – or invite them to yours. Always meet in a public place first – and probably on the second date too.

If this all sounds far too risky, don’t forget that traditional dating agencies such as RSVP offer a safe environment to meet potential partners – either one-to-one or at hosted singles events. You’ll only meet people we’ve already met and vetted. You can trust RSVP to minimise the risks, leaving you to enjoy the experience.

Thursday, 15 December 2016

Is it because I'm a Londoner

Winston Churchill. How many of you would associate this man with modern dating?

Not me, for sure. That is until I attended a fabulous RSVP Singles Event in London at the Churchill War Rooms hosted by yours truly. We all met outside and introduced ourselves, before heading into the venue. Inside, we were talked through a short film and a tour guide gave us an overview of what the War Rooms were about, how they downed tools after the war, locked up and no one returned for 40 years. They were opened to the public on the orders of Margaret Thatcher.

Armed with our audio guides we all started to wander around; we didn’t stay as a group; we all took our time and bumped into each other, stopping for a catch up in the tea room, before continuing the tour. It was fascinating.

After a full morning, we headed to the pub for lunch, where there was lots of banter and laughs, as well as great food. After a few drinks, we talked about other RSVP Singles Events we would attend. Definitely a good day all round.

I can honestly say by the end of the day, it felt like a group of friends had shared a great day out. Singles events can seem daunting and maybe you think they would feel staged. Absolutely not. RSVP Singles Events are designed to be as natural and relaxed as we can make them; and the test is: ‘does it feel like a group of friends going out?’ This singles event felt just like that; in fact, I cannot wait to get out again.

Monday, 21 November 2016

Gents: How to establish Trust in Dating

At Dating Agency and Singles Club RSVP, we know that trusting another person is hard for many people, and made harder these days by dating apps that make you feel someone better is just a casual swipe away. Specifically, though, women who have troubling trusting their partners are usually on the lookout for certain things. Everyone has their own set of needs, but what does the sceptical woman want and need from her relationship? If you’re a woman who doesn’t trust easily, you may not even know the answer to this question. Let’s see if RSVP’s team of dating experts can help you out with that.
Let's start with what trust actually means. Trust is both a logical and emotional act. Emotionally, it's where you expose your vulnerabilities to people, but believing they will not take advantage of you. The Logical act of trust is where you have assessed the probabilities of gain and loss and concluded that the person in question will have a predictable manner. Trust is a two way communication which pulls together the logical act and emotional.
There are a few things that will trigger the trust issue for women, for example bringing up sex too early on in the relationship. This makes a women feel as though you are just trying to use her or are being disingenuous and will straight away lock you out. Some men think the harder they try - calling or texting a lot - the more serious she will think he is. People often have their phones on them and worry why they are not messaging back. This can be for many reasons - such as a busy life style. If a man tries too hard this can sometimes be the easiest way to lose someone as women may decide you are a ‘clinger’.
Another example at the opposite extreme is that you are not giving the relationship the attention it deserves. It will crumble and the trust will disappear. The woman you are with is not just an option to pass the time. If you are with her make her feel special and if you are not with her, at least contact her saying you are thinking about her. A relationship is about teamwork and if one person does not do their part it falls.
A woman truly wants a man who…
1.       Trusts her.
2.       Loves her.
3.       Protects her.
4.       Is Passionate.
5.       Has Ambition.

RSVP’s team of matchmaking experts are here to help you find the right partner for you.

Wednesday, 16 November 2016

Beating the odds

Have you ever thought you are the only single person on the planet? Then just when you finally think you may have found ‘the one’, they get snapped up from under you? Let’s be honest, when that happens, you automatically assume that there’s something wrong with you as a person. You go on a soul-search and find faults that aren’t actually there, plus a whole lot that are beyond your control. It’s pretty easy to find evidence for anything that you have programmed yourself to believe.

However…a recent article on Beating the Odds of Finding Mr Right by Jon Birger For The Daily Mail shows how mature single women in the UK outnumber men by almost a million. And this effect is exaggerated when women specify certain criteria in their perfect male partner, like a degree, for example. Plus, the situation worsens as you get older.

I found this article really intriguing, as a professional matchmaker for Dating Agency and Singles Club RSVP. It can be a common misconception that Dating Agencies struggle to attract men, so it’s something of a breath of fresh air to have these statistics out in the open. If I were the one searching, I would definitely want a team of professional matchmaking experts on my side searching for that special person on my behalf, as well as providing guidance to help me get the best out of every match. It’d certainly save wasting my time looking for a needle in a hay stack!

Although the Beating the Odds of Finding Mr Right article gives some good ways to find love, I wonder how many of us actually want to change our routines to find love? Love is acceptance, after all. I just know that mature single women need all the professional help they can get in finding a partner. And the matchmaking experts at RSVP are ready and willing to provide that help.

Are you guilty of procrastination with your dating journey?

It’s been longer than I would have liked, since I last wrote a blog. I asked myself why? The simple answer is, there is no real reason. Yes I can give you a long list of excuses, but no real valid reason. After all, we make time for what is important. I could say that life has taken over, like it sometimes does, yet I am a firm believer in freeing your time for people, rather than only talking to people in my free time.

Now I enjoy discussing the trials and tribulations of all dating aspects. I have a real passion for my role as Dating PA for RSVP’s Platinum Introduction Agency service. I can open up a whole new chapter in your life, giving you the key of the door to opportunities that you never would have had the chance to explore. I do not have a magic wand; you cannot buy love; yet I can assist on your journey a traditionaldating agency such as RSVP can offer you. Support, hints and tips: they will tell you what you need to hear, not just what you want to hear.

Are you guilty of procrastination with your dating journey? When your car goes wrong and you’ve spent an hour under the bonnet wondering what all those things do, you go to a garage. When your plumbing goes wrong – you call a plumber. When Google can’t tell you what your health problem is, you go to a doctor. In all of these circumstances you have to place trust and you have to make the time.

So what are you waiting for to start your journey with the help of one of RSVP’s expert Dating PAs? Remember that self-improvement gives us the best rewards. You can’t eat healthily for one day and expect instant results; you must eat well and visit the gym time and again. Next time you go on a date, remember you are one step closer to your goal. If you are guilty of procrastination, yet you want to be someone’s priority, pull up your big pants and call an expert.