Friday, 12 August 2016

First Impressions

We are constantly told that first impressions count. It could be a job interview, meeting the neighbours, first day at work/school, the first step, first date, or that first time meeting the parents. So many firsts to think of.

I was intrigued to read an article in the Mail Online that shared Kathryn Alice’s (author of “Love will find you”) five-step formula to make a good and lasting impression. She promises it will help you become an expert at connecting with those you believe to be a 10.
1 Build yourself up internally – there is no rejection; just the wrong fit

2 Connect Subtly – Eye Contact and Smile

3 Chat matter-of-factly – making comment on things around you

4 Once emotional safety has been established, you can build on it – asking questions

5 Bring it home by furthering contact – Connect on Facebook

The beauty of this day and age is that we no longer have to take these firsts alone. For instance, at RSVP dating agency and singles club, you’ll find a team of expert matchmakers with a positive and cheery disposition, ready to help you along on your ’firsts’ journey.

The list above is fairly straight forward and full of common sense, which we all display very little of when we are bowled over by someone. This is where using a professional matchmaking service can be the voice of reason. However, I must say that my top 5 wouldn’t involve social media so soon.

Dating is unique; there is no one size fits all; therefore, I am 100% behind step one – you must learn to love yourself from the inside out to enable someone else to love you.

You could also put these skills into practice at one of RSVP’s exclusive singles events, such as a grand ball, with the support of a seasoned host.

Tuesday, 2 August 2016

Friendship and dating

Can a close opposite gender friendship survive dating?

A question that I don’t think can be answered fully. As in life we are all unique and we all have a different view of what’s ‘normal’.

But, let’s think about this for a moment, shall we? What makes us choose a person and think to ourselves ‘I’ll keep this one as just a friend and share memories, maybe grab some food and have fun with’?

Is having an opposite gender best friend disrespectful to a potential romantic partner?

Here at dating agency and singles club RSVP, we know that people from all over our database have sought advice on this subject, more so in recent times, now that people are more accepting.

When you join a dating agency and singles club like RSVP, you are ultimately seeking a romance. But, hold on a minute. This guy is telling me he has made some male and female friends and actually his ‘best friend’ is also female – that green-eyed monster appears. 

Ladies, the beauty of a traditional matchmaking service, is that these men have invested not only their time and money, but have sought professional dating assistance. If there were any romantic connection with his ‘best-friend’, surely he wouldn’t have needed to take that step.

And, gents, the same goes for the opposite. If the lady whose attention you seek wanted to date her best friend, she certainly wouldn’t waste her money on dating; she would be buying handbags and shoes, spending all her time convincing her male friend to look no further.

The more friends you make in life, the more your circle widens, thus opportunities arise. At RSVP dating agency and singles club, we actively encourage you to come out and met new people at our events; think of the stories you are creating. How unique to say our romance blossomed after meeting a new friend on an RSVP F1 Racing Simulator and Rock Climbing singles event in Bedford, who just happened to have a friend who was perfect for me? That’s an opportunity that would have not arisen if it wasn’t for a little help from our friends.

Friday, 22 July 2016

Cherish Today


Rather than slam internet dating and harp on about the importance of keeping ourselves safe online, I would like to take a moment to send our thoughts and prayers to the family of the victim Usha Patel.


It is with great sadness that when women are faced with the harsh reality of single life with a young child in tow, our need for attention heightens, which can leave us wide open to many situations that would appear out of character.


After all, we all want to be liked and ultimately loved, so we will put in that extra effort and take the risk. Sometimes this pays off and we met that person who makes our eyes dance and heart sing. Not all stories end tragically; the blame here lies only with the individual who stole a mother from a young child.


Tomorrow isn’t promised; cherish today; we never expect to need an emergency plan. However, the route of using a traditional dating agency like RSVP, where every member has been met, will definitely deter those with criminal intent and will help set your mind at ease. Knowledge is power; I strongly urge all daters to research traditional offline agencies through the Association of British Introduction Agencies.


RSVP offer our deepest sympathies to friends and family of Usha.

Thursday, 14 July 2016

Modern Dating Etiquette

So is there such a thing as dating etiquette in the modern day?


Should some things remain private between a couple? Well, this choice is unique and personal to you, not only as an individual but as a couple.


However, surely anything that you do disclose should be discussed between you both. How does this work at the beginning of a relationship?


Most of us have that one friend that we see as our ‘human diary’; some may even be lucky enough to have a few; you know those friends that you ‘over share’ with and tell your deepest darkest secrets and desires to; things that you wouldn’t dream of relating on social media.


A normal day for an RSVP Dating PA (that’s the service that comes with RSVP’s Platinum Introduction Agency membership) means you hear many stories. I am the first to say that nothing shocks me anymore; you have the comfort of knowing that even if you do seek advice or over share with our team of matchmaking experts, it definitely won’t:

A-     Get plastered all over Facebook/Twitter etc  

B-      Be accidently leaked to the partner or other friends

C-      Result in you feeling judged on your actions.


After all, I – along with my fellow Dating PAs – am  here for that purpose; a wise but impartial and non-judgemental expert. I will tell you what you need to hear, rather than what you want to hear, to help you on your dating journey.


Now I was slightly surprised that there is a fairly new kid on the internet block, with a Dating app that girls can swipe left/right – fairly common these days; however, you can also join as ‘a ghost’ to help a member of your girl group search for her perfect guy; it doesn’t stop there, they can even be involved in the messages; yes, they can see the whole conversation as well as add to it!


Do you find this kind of dating enticing? How well do your friends know what you REALLY want in a partner? I wonder how the guys will react to dating a team!


I think I’d rather leave my dating in the hands of a professional team. My advice? Put your phone down and get yourself out to one of the superb singles events hosted by RSVP and meet some genuine singles face to face.

Thursday, 7 July 2016

In or Out the Dating version

I remember a time when being an inny or an outty referred to your belly button; gosh, how times change.


Today my question refers to the online dating community.


A Good Morning Britain investigation has revealed one in ten women have felt physically or verbally attacked after meeting someone online, with one in four receiving explicit messages within three minutes of chatting.


We all profess to err on the side of caution; we know what we should do; however, does that stop us doing what we want to do?


Here at RSVP dating agency and singles club, we take care of the ‘should do’ side of it for you; we meet every single member face to face. As for explicit messages, they’re not really a problem in RSVP. Whatever happens, it’s nice to know that one of our team are always there to listen and advise confidentially on the best course of action.


Ninety-eight percent of women said  they’d always organise a first date in public, to stay safe. But in a fifth of cases, they changed their mind and they met at someone’s home instead. In a third of cases the women said they’d gone back to a private home after a first date.


So, as women, why do we change our minds last minute? Maybe it boils down to the quest for instant gratification that we all suffer from, from time to time. We are constantly told in for a penny in for a pound; we both know we are interested, so why not jump in?


I personally believe that slow and steady wins the race. A great way to stay safe is to arrange a first meeting at a pre-organised singles event, for example one of RSVP’s mix and mingles, where, if you don’t hit it off, you have an easy escape route.


Just remember ladies, our behaviour influences others. I am definitely an ‘outty’ (on this subject, at least).





Friday, 24 June 2016

What's your biggest fear?

What's your biggest fear? One of mine is spiders. So how do you overcome your fears? I trained my 2 boys not to be scared and to safely catch them and pop them back outside (while I hide in another room doing the good old spider dance).


Here at RSVP dating agencyand singles club, the most common fears I hear are:

  • Fear of the unknown,
  • Fear of getting back in to the dating game
  • Fear of rejection
  • Fear of attending a first RSVP singles event.


Bizarrely, one of RSVP’s team of matchmaking experts recently overcame her fear of cows. Yes, cows. She marched through a whole field of the mooing creatures while on an RSVP singles walk in Lincolnshire, organised by our events team at head quarters. Huge well done!


This sparked a conversation with an RSVP member of ours, attending the same RSVP singles event and supporting her, who recently overcame his fear of flying by attending an RSVP helicopter lesson singles activity.


The singles walk (followed by a Sunday lunch) was actually being hosted by a first time host, another fear smashed that day.


So, next time you find yourself wondering if you should attend that first RSVP singles event, you start to feel the sweaty palms or the faster heartbeat, just remember we are all conquering fears that others may be unaware of. All RSVP singles events are hosted and the host is there to help everyone overcome those fears and have a fun time.


On that first date, take away the second guessing and pick up the phone to one of our
friendly team of matchmaking experts at RSVP to talk it through; after all, our fears can be managed if not conquered.



Thursday, 12 May 2016

Paying your own way?

A recent article in the Daily Mail discussed the issue of ‘who should pay for dinner on a first date?’.

As a Dating PA for RSVP’s Platinum introduction agency service, it’s an issue that is a bugbear of mine and a question I’m asked frequently. This sparked a mini discussion in my house, when I asked the question of my children ‘who should pay for dinner?’, they immediately said in unison ‘the man’; when questioned, my 13 year old son said ‘it’s just good manners’, my 11 year old son said ‘it’s chivalrous’ and my 9 year old daughter said quite simply ‘he is the man’!

Now as a professional Matchmaker, I wholeheartedly believe a FIRST dinner date should be split. Of course the rules may change after the first date. Yet, I find it surprising – and slightly depressing – that a study of 416 men and women reveals that both men and women who think they are attractive feel they quite literally bring more to the table and therefore the less attractive of the duo should be paying for the privilege of dining with them.

Interestingly, an attractive male will relent slightly and pick up the tab, if he wants to impress; if he pays he is inferring that he wants another date. An attractive woman, on the other hand, will allow and expect the man to pay, even if she is interested; this to her means that he has already invested in a future with her.

So does this mean that the less ‘naturally’ attractive among us should always foot the bill? Surely if you take pride in your appearance you have brought the same to the table. Should attractiveness trump manners?

Here at RSVP we aim to provide matches based on the characteristics of long-term relationship success – which is about more than how two people look, so we recommend that you always take your purse or wallet to dinner!