Friday, 8 September 2017

The importance of good photos when dating

There is this old saying that a picture tells a thousand words. Really? At RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club, we've learned that a picture in a dating profile may ‘tell a thousand words’, but may have only tenuous connection with the person you are reading about. Furthermore, is a single photo always a true reflection of what the person in question looks like? 

Allow me to elaborate. Firstly, everyone has ‘good angles’ and ‘bad angles’. Then there is lighting - harsh lighting can age anyone. Then, at the other end of the spectrum, there are ‘face-tuning’ apps and Adobe Photoshop, which can enhance us quickly to have white teeth, bigger, wider eyes or even slim us down a dress size, whilst losing any spots of wrinkles. When was the photo taken? Ten years ago? Is it actually the person you're reading about? Was it taken by a professional photographer with lighting, make-up, etc? Or is it a holiday snap of you and your previous partner torn down the middle? I could go on. 

According to globaldatinginsights.com, a quarter of people who use dating sites and apps such as Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Bumble, eharmony, match.com etc, have admitted to uploading digitally manipulated photographs which are unlikely to be a true representation of themselves. And, who can blame them, when, with a swipe, you are history. This brings us back to the authenticity of a dating agency like RSVP, where we meet every single one of our members and make sure everyone really is who they say they are.

RSVP's long-held nervousness about photos in dating stems from the myriad assumptions we make when we view a photo of a potential partner, about who they are and their character, which could be completely wrong. Frequently, daters will act on these incorrect assumptions by not going ahead and meeting that person (it's always easier to do nothing), or arriving with completely fabricated preconceived ideas on the individual, so that it ruins getting to know the person on the date.
It is now estimated that one third of daters look up a person online before agreeing to go on a date with them. It is almost inevitable that, in this day and age, there is no shortage of photographs of us online, whether it is facebook photos, Instagram posts, a LinkedIn profile picture and WhatsApp profile picture. It usually wouldn’t take long for a person to find photos of us online. There are ways around this: set your social media accounts to private (always a good idea, anyway), upload a photo of a beach/flowers/cocktails as your WhatsApp photograph. However, sometimes it is unavoidable; so, if you must, here is some advice on photos for social media when you are looking to date:
-It is always obvious if it a picture from 12 years ago, use update photos from the last year.
-A good quality sharp photo, is much better than a blurry, pixelated, over-exposed picture.
-Zooming in on yourself in a group photo and cropping everyone else out doesn’t always work; the photo then lacks context and the proportions look a little odd.

-Too many selfies, can look a little self-obsessed, even if that isn’t the intention.
-Adding animal ears, crowns and bunny ear filters to photos isn’t really funny anymore; it is just a bit silly if you are over the age of 15.

-Fancy dress, although fun at the time, can look a little odd to people who don’t know the theme or didn’t attend the party.
-Overly enhancing a photo using a face tuning app is dishonest and usually pretty obvious.

-A passport-style head shot photo can look quite serious and rigid; a more relaxed photo taken by a friend is far more natural.

-Photos taken in daylight outdoors are (a) usually better lit and (b) more popular with daters. Get a tree in shot as well, if you want the best.

Wednesday, 6 September 2017

The unrealistic side to dating


Do you ever sit at a family gathering or on a day out, feeling like the only single person in the world? Everywhere you look there seem to be happy couples. And no matter how many dates you seem to go on, there always seems to be something that just doesn’t quite fit.

A recent article about an eligible bachelor looking for a drastically younger bride to give him an heir got me thinking. How realistic are our expectations when it comes to dating?
When we picture that perfect match, there are usually a handful of things that stand out as essential – maybe age, values or personality type. Then we start to think a little bit harder and more and more ‘essentials’ go on the list until eventually the scope for finding that perfect match is so slim, it’s almost impossible. You’ve set yourself up for guaranteed disappointment.
When left to find this person on your own it can often feel like finding a needle in a haystack (especially if you’ve a long shopping list). That bar that you’ve set for Mr or Ms Right is so high that somebody almost perfect could walk into your life and you would find something wrong with them.
At RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club, we often find that what people say they want in a partner and the partner they actually choose are two completely different things. After all, how many of your previous relationships have looked like or acted like your celebrity crush? My guess would be none.
RSVP’s experienced Dating Consultants meet every prospective member to get to know you and what you are looking for. With years of experience under their belt, they will take into account the things that are most important to you and open your eyes to the possibilities and potential matches that could be available to you – and also those you are inadvertently excluding. They are there to advise and support you and tell you what you need to hear, not just what you want to hear in order to find that special person just for you.
When it comes to dating, maybe it’s time every so often to throw caution to the wind and go for somebody that on paper may not seem your type, because in the end you may just find that little spark you were missing.