Thursday 16 March 2017

Is there such a thing as love at first sight?

As representative of RSVP Dating Agency and Singles Club, that was the question I was asked on Jonathan Lampon's show on BBC Radio Leicester this week.

Me with Jonathan Lampon, BBC Radio Leicester
Of course we all love that feeling of butterflies we get when someone gorgeous looks our way, but can that be love at first sight?

Just catching sight of someone gives us no insight into the personality of the person we have just seen. Furthermore, we are constantly making subconscious lists of features we attribute to those people we have strong feelings about, both positive and negative.

That's why it's so easy to take an instant like or dislike when we meet people for the first time. But we need to be careful of falling into a pattern of only wanting to meet potential partners that are "our type". Let's face it - if you are single at the moment, chances are what you are doing is not working.

I would argue that you need to be more open to the elements in a relationship that have been proven to contribute to longer term happiness. Of course, sexual attraction is part of falling in love, but it is only part of the concoction which also includes friendship, shared experiences, trust and kindness.

That is why our RSVP matchmakers do not include photographs on our profiles sent to members. We want our members to look at the interests and hobbies, personality type and values when considering whether or not to meet up.

If you want to hear more about this topic, listen to my radio interview.

Wednesday 1 March 2017

Ask for Angela

Anyone heard of ‘Ask for Angela’?

Ask for Angela is a simple code-word campaign for people feeling unsafe on a date, originally trialled by Lincolnshire County Council. It encourages people on dates that have turned difficult or dangerous to discreetly ask for help by going to the bar and 'Ask for Angela' - a phrase aimed at alerting bar staff to the cry for help so they can help by calling a taxi or discreetly extricating them from the situation. Ask for Angela has been rolled out across the UK and is receiving global attention at present.

I am all for safer dating and anything that assists us stay safe in a world full of hidden dangers. Apparently, bar staff are receiving specialist training to deal with situations when they arise. But the publicity posters openly admit that it’s dates from Tinder and Plenty of Fish that are the main targets for help – free dating apps/sites where anyone can join and anyone does.

Much better in my book is to invest a little in your own safety up-front to make sure you don’t go out fearing what will happen on your date. That safety can come from using an accredited professional matchmaking service like RSVP. You’ll know that the person you’re meeting has already been met face-to-face by one of RSVP’s expert dating consultants. Attending some of RSVP’s hosted singles events is a sure-fire way of knowing that you won’t need Angela’s assistance, as you will have a host there to make sure everything runs smoothly.